In this blog I’m sharing my experiences and professional knowledge why preschool children behave the way they do and some suggestions to handing the situation if it’s a bad behavior problem.
Every parent, guardian and teacher experiences children’s behavior, the good, the bad and the ugly. At times we ask ourselves: Why does my preschooler act so grown up, then minutes later act like a baby? Children in this age group (3-5 yrs old) are constantly growing (minds and behavior), which includes gaining their independence and showing you (parent, teacher, guardian) they know and understand what’s going on around them. They are also learning how to control their emotions, which is one of the key reasons why they act like a baby when certain situations arise. A situation could be asking them to do something they don’t want, if they are afraid of something, etc.
Reason: As an adult if we’re in a situation which is uncomfortable, we will express our reasons and handle our emotions collectively (usually). Preschoolers have not mastered this and they don’t understand why (completely) they’re feeling the way they do. It takes children a long time to control their emotions, plus whatever personal experiences they have at home are part of their behavior development.
Suggestions: In a situation where you see your child misbehaving and after three warnings to stop misbehaving, I suggest using the time-out chair – if of course it warrants the time-out chair. If they are afraid of something and reacting out fear, the time-out chair isn’t the answer. Soothing would help. The time-out chair is a very good tool if used correctly. The purpose of a time-out chair is to teach your children and help them understand why they are in time-out. It’s suggested that parents/guardians/ caregivers remain calm when putting them in their chair (or special time-out spot) and explain why he/she is sitting in the time-out chair. Besides explaining I also suggest asking them why they’re there. If they can’t answer you, repeat yourself. It may take 3-4 times of repeating yourself before they understand. When they answer you correctly they should understand why they’re in the time-out chair. As adults it’s our job to ensure they understand why they are sitting there, the goal is to help them learn not to repeat their misbehavior.
Don’t: Put your screaming child in time-out and continually tell him/her to stop screaming otherwise he’ll stay in time-out longer, then a after a few minutes pass, remove the screaming child from time-out. In this situation the child learned nothing and it’s a waste of a parent’s breath.
Ages 3-4 are the most crucial time in children’s lives, whatever happens at this age, good or bad, begins to shape them.
Tantrums in Public Places: A parent asked me how they could better handle their child while throwing tantrums in public places. I told this parent if their child is having a complete meltdown in public I would recommend removing him/her from the situation, and stay calm. I would also recommend against bribing them. Preschoolers are pretty smart and If you bribe them, they will always think they will get something every time they have a tantrum. Every time you deal with a tantrum parents need to treat every tantrum the same way. Consistency is important to setting ground rules.
Defiance: In school and life we have to follow directions, at times we aren’t in the mood to follow directions. In preschool we’re teaching our children how to follow directions and why it’s important and ask our parents to do the same at home. Example: If you’re sitting with your child teaching him/her how to write and you ask him to take out a pencil from his pencil box and he takes out a scissor and you ask a few more times to take out a pencil, the child is clearly not paying attention and following directions.
Suggestion: In this situation I would suggest taking his pencil box away and not giving it back until he understands why he needs his pencil.
Natasha’s Tips:
ü You have to show them who is in control and that tantrum, defiance or other ill behavior will not get them anywhere. Even as hard as it is I suggest you ignore their behavior.
ü Don’t bribe them
ü Try to remain calm
ü If you think their behavior is completely a off the rector scale, I suggest speaking with a medical professional
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